The past couple of months have been hard. I'll tell you that at least. I've had to do a few things that I never thought I would have to do at my age. Things that made me feel a little bit like a failure. Things that made me feel that the path my life is on has been a mistake. Of course, those thoughts are fleeting. They last but for a moment and then I'm back to my old self. I hoped this blog would be a chance to leave all my past cynicism behind and always look on the bright side of life. Occasionally, it creeps back up on me but at least now I can identify the creeper before it starts.
Besides personal hardships, world events are getting me down as well. I've always been heavily involved in politics since my late teens. I made it a rule that I wouldn't discuss any of my political beliefs on this blog and I will continue to abide by that rule (I use other outlets to gripe about politics anyway). With the 2012 election, current presidential debates, arguments about debt ceilings, government shut downs, and infinity, I find myself just feeling depressed and over burdened. Most people around me remain apathetic and uncaring and I find that to be even more infuriating! I guess I will just never understand most people and I will never understand why my mood is so affected by the current political climate.
How does one write about personal hardships without revealing too many personal details? You already know I like to cook, I really want to be a farmer, I'm trying to better myself, and the color of my kitchen is the same color used to decorate French whore houses from the 1870's. Luckily for me, however, Mark Bittman, food blogger and occasional NY Times opinion piece writer summed things up perfectly in an article last week. If you have a moment, please read it. I think the article will make your day.
"Relax, we're doing pretty well; only a couple of things are going in the wrong direction."And remember, no matter what, try to look on the bright side of life.
Take care of yourself and each other...
Sorry for the hardships you've been dealing with, Brad. I personally take your mental debate a step further (sorry to complicate things even more): how much of my personal life do I want to share with anyone - this includes my blog readers as well as people I know face-to-face.
ReplyDeleteWhen my headaches and migraines were increasing to the chronic level, I got really depressed and it seemed like all I did was complain, especially at work to my coworkers because I felt like I needed to justify why I had to leave for so many doctor's appointments. After a while I realized what I was doing and decided it was best to hold back and not give out every detail, because it was just too much.
That being said, I appreciate people who are real. Don't hide everything and act like your life is sunshine and peaches (I think I just made that up) because nobody's life is perfect and people - friends, coworkers, blog readers - understand because they've been there. Sharing struggles gives people depth and it can be encouraging to find out that someone else is going through something similar and they're surviving.
Oh and I still like your red kitchen, even if it is the color of a whore house.
Brad, there's an old saying that goes "he who increases knowledge, increases sorrow.". I know exactly what you're talking about since I go through much the same thing. I too have seen the apathy around me, as well as questioning where my life is going and if im doing the right thing. You don't have to reveal any more than you already have for me to have something of an idea of what is going on. Sometimes I find it hard to find people who relate to the way I think and see things (even my best friends), and I feel truly alone in this area.
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